FaceBook is a very useful tool to connect with people who are physically far from each other, but it also makes people rely on it to keep in contact with those who are close to them, rather than actually wanting to share good and bad moments together. Are we gaining or losing more friends because of it?

When we use FB, be that writing or reading, we neglect to understand that all written opinions, jokes, information, etc, can be misinterpreted. When writing and most specially reading FB, Whatsapp, Instagram, Twitter, SMS, Blogs, Linked In and all the popular current forms of (written) communications, we must remember to use the same principle as when writing/reading business emails: take the time to think what we really want to say, what we want to achieve, the reliability of our sources and how to say. When reading it, we must be open to opinions,  not to jump to conclusions and must take the time to evaluate what the person really meant, before giving the “final guilty  verdict” on the messenger’s intentions.

When in writing, a message’s real meaning can be lost for many reasons: because of the reader’s humour, perhaps their state of mind, time constraints or mental health, at the time they read it and even because of their level of education, ideology, social background, or political and religious beliefs, to mention a few.

FaceBook like all the other tools mentioned, is easy to access and use, it is just a click, a tap, a voice command away. Because FB gives us the sensation that we are “talking” to the small group of people we want to target and that they are the only ones reading our message, looking at our pictures, laughing at our jokes, discussing a possible controversial and sensitive subject, we tend to forget how the message will come across to those who find it difficult to understand it or who do not relate to the message, therefore making the sender vulnerable to being misunderstood.

How many of us have an FB friend who believes that a message, a picture, a link, a joke, an opinion posted it is about them? How many think it is “for sure” against them or in favour of them or to make fun of them or even to praise them? And how many of them are wrong? And how many are right? How many times you yourself thought a friend was “talking” about you when he/she had no intention to offend (or praise), when they posted whatever you think it is “definitely a message indirectly directed to you”? So many misunderstandings, so many friendships lost, so much time wasted.

Here it is a message we can take at face value: With the standard communications nowadays being done in writing, through icons, abbreviations, jargons,pictures and symbols, when we cannot see into the person’s eyes, watch their body language and their face expressions to determine if they are being truthful, let’s stop believing we are the centre of the world and that every post and message is directed to us. If you are the oneif you are sending subtle messages you cannot gather enough courage to deliver in person to your friends (??), stop it! Pick up your smartphone, dial their number (for sure in your list) and invite them for a cuppa, of coffee, tea, whatever, a glass of wine, or if you are geographically separated, make a FaceTime/Skype call them and enjoy an old fashion conversation. Have a good time talking to each other!!!!